It's my first :o)

I just needed a place to write, i had a website, it was a class thing Rainbow Warriors, but someone got rid of it and i got the blame, becasuse, at that very time i had this major bitch fit at everyone and well, obviously, fingers get pointed at my direction, makes sense, but i dodn't do it no matter what they think, i loved that site, it was like my online diary, and ever since that site vanished, i have no where to go and write, but here i am now, found a place hopefully.
I wonder if this is private? I don't really want people reading into all this, but then again, who cares, there all strangers who don't know me, so i guess it's a little okay, i don't like people judging. There's a lot of stuff i don't like actually, but let's not get into that.
Okay, so where do i starts? Well, recently, wel actually, been quite a long time now. things have been really awkwardbetween me and my, you can say close friend, want say best friend, coz i believe i don't really have one. I don't have that Breyton-ness with anyone, just a lonely nomad. Anyhow, yea things have been brewing between the two of us and the last month the volcano totally erupted, and we had this major bust up. And i thought it was the ending, i totally wanted to be the ending.
She hurt me. She was talking about me to this other chick, who you can totally call a frenemy, behind my back. Now i have every right to hate on the frenemy coz she ended ties with me coz i didn;t attend this wedding, it was our first friends wedding, so makes it special, but i didn't go and Miss Frenemy decided to have a bitch fit over it and well, that's us done. So anyhow Miss Hurt Me was like sending letters that i wrote to her to Frenemy, and that's just was crossing the line coz those letters were written hoping they'd stay between us, but guess not.
Then like last week, i wrote her this long mail where i was basically demanding to know what it is i did wrong to her that made her hate me, believe me i was proud of that letter, i totally opened up and was like going through everything i did for her and how she totally took all my love and threw it in my face. So, yea, i thought now i have come to a peace ending, but nop, we sent couple more mails to each other and then that's it.
Couple of days ago, she sent me her novel, Charmed Obsessed, a novel she's been working on forever and i've been a part of it totally, i'm like the editor/co-writer, and well she sent chapter 8 and i editted it back, coz even though all the shit happended between us, i still love CO, so yea that was like a gateway to rekindleling our friendship. I beleive things have eased down between the two of us.
But there's always gonna be this thing between us. I don't think i can totally trust her like before. She messed up, and i love her, but i won't forget how badly she hurt me, she got me big time...